Trust is the foundation of love, relationships, and marriage. Unfortunately, many people underestimate the value of trust and, as a result, pay little attention to this essential component of a successful relationship. Now, because marriage links two people together for the rest of their lives, it's critical that they begin this journey on a firm foundation of trust, because it's simpler to love someone you can trust. Furthermore, dishonesty in marriage can generate an atmosphere of fear and insecurity, and whether it's "small white lies" or something more serious that can reveal your conjugal life, any secret can send a happy marriage downhill. As a result, it's always better not to conceal secrets from a potential spouse because you never know when a ghost from the past will come back to haunt you. So, let's take a look at a few things that every couple should talk about before marrying.
1. Secrets of Relationships
Even couples that are completely honest in all of the above categories may find it difficult to convey their actual hearts and sentiments about their relationship. What are your relationship needs in your marriage, and are they being met? Are you comfortable discussing your intimacy wants, emotional needs, and aspirations and dreams? Can you express your thoughts and ideas without fear of being judged or rejected? Can you communicate about what you want and, on the other hand, listen to what your spouse wants you to work on in your relationship?
2. Secrets from the past
If you've been married for a long time but are still holding on to secrets from your past, I suggest you start here. As a pre-marital counselor, I encourage the couples I work with to work through the "skeletons in their closet" long before they say I do. Intimacy history, drug/alcohol history, abuse history, and family history are all topics you must confront in your own life before sharing them with your partner. Your past does not define you, but it does shape you, and you owe it to your partner to provide a peek of the events that have shaped you into the person you are today – good, bad, and ugly.
Not everyone has a criminal record, but if you have, it's critical that you tell your spouse about it before getting married. It doesn't matter whether it's something as minor as childhood shoplifting; it's critical that you don't keep your spouse in the dark.
4. You used to have a problem with drugs and alcohol.
You may believe that what happened in the past needs to remain in the past, but this is an exception. Those who have struggled with and overcame addictions understand that they will always confront temptation." "In order to truly help you, your spouse must be aware of your previous addictions. Share any memories you have of your past, as well as any current temptations or problems. Although it is not your partner's responsibility to heal you, knowing these facts can help them provide the greatest possible assistance.
5. You know you won't be able to have children.
The decision to have children (or not) might be emotionally difficult, but if you know you're medically unable to conceive, you must be open about it. It's simply not fair to your partner to keep this information to yourself.
6. You've previously been married or engaged.
Some individuals may be startled to learn that they do not believe this is required, which is why it is on my list of secrets that must be revealed. While it's true that the past shouldn't define how your relationship functions in the present, previous love engagements should undoubtedly be disclosed to your spouse for financial and emotional reasons.
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